Bullying, Gossip & Prejudice Always Leave Victims
by Joan Endicott
President Woodrow Wilson stated, "I never went into battle; I never was under fire. But I fancy...that it is just as hard to do your duty, when men are sneering at you, as when they are shooting at you. When they shoot at you, they can only take your natural life; when they sneer at you, they can wound your living heart."
Think for a moment about times in your life, both personally and professionally, when others have said things that hurt you, that wounded your living heart. How did you feel?
When I was in school, we learned a little chorus that stuck with me; "Gossip, gossip - evil 'ting, much unhappiness it bring. If you can't say some 'ting nice, don't talk at all is my advice". Good advice for everyone: home, school and workplace.
We must attack the issue of bullying, gossip, slander and prejudice in the schools, workplace, and society in general like never before, or the problems we have will continue to grow. We barely scratch the surface of these issues, when we talk about absenteeism, depression, poor performance - which to the corporate world means time, resources and money wasted. Then as we delve deeper, we find various forms of violence, of which we all become victims of, directly or indirectly.
The results of allowing bullying, gossip, slander and prejudice are never good - ever! Producing only a crippling and hateful environment, this can ultimately have the tragic result of someone taking their own life. These issues are the reason for the rise in workplace and school violence.
For years I had the benefit of great insights from my late friend Dan Heidt, as he and I spoke together in various venues: schools, businesses, etc. I was able to glean some of the insight and wisdom, which he gained through the devastation of going to the aftermath of most of our country's school shootings, as well as many of the tragedies in the workplaces across the country. Certainly he was qualified to speak on the subjects regarding violence in all arenas.
Dan talked about how critical it is for us to understand that these horrific actions will continue to climb at an alarming rate unless we dramatically change things now. He said, "the buzzword in our society has been 'tolerance', but people tell me they don't want to feel like they are just being tolerated - rather, respected."
One key is being able to disagree with someone without being disrespectful to them as a human being. Certainly for any of us who've been married longer than 20 minutes, we know we can disagree with someone and still love them - it's HOW we treat them in the process that matters.
We need to reinforce the elements of common courtesies and basic manners as well as skills, which help resolve conflicts effectively, which will help prevent problems from rising initially. Also, reinforcing how to help defuse situations rather than causing them to escalate - making them worse. There are thousands of cases where people have been bullied, ignored, ridiculed or harassed to the point of finding a way to settle the score one way or another - then all that's left are victims.
We cannot over state the power in our words or actions. Each of us has tremendous power to hurt, harm and destroy, or to help, heal and build up our fellow man. Showing value and respect to every person we come in contact with is the starting point and is the heart of this matter.
To further promote authentic respect for others, Joan speaks around the country to all ages (grade school and up) and industries,
offering customized keynotes / trainings to meet your organizations exact needs.
Call our office today @ (208) 453-8056. JoanEndicott.com
